Category Archives: How To Guides

State of the Art

Before the invention of the modern computer, Climate Scientists carefully carried out their empirical studies in the open air. Results and predictions were often rendered meaningless due to contamination by the open environment. Since the invention of the computer, Climate … Continue reading

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Editorial: I’m Utterly Astonished

Six Bananas, a first here at Cannibalism Today. I can not be any more amused. I’m shocked by the amount of amusement. I would have to now say that every one of our astonishing principles of Totalitarianism has been fully … Continue reading

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July 4th – 3,226 Requests for Government Assistance

Oppressed citizens around the world are calling out for help with their health, safety, and welfare. It is the duty of the US Government and the joy of Satan to respond by making citizens free from personal responsibility. Our representative … Continue reading

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Cannibalism Made Easy

The US Governmentsm is recognized around the world to be a bright and shining example of the teachings of Jesus Christ. Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and All These Things Shall Be Added Unto You. Unemployment, Jobs, and … Continue reading

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Editorial: Our Sacred Trust

Is Evolution Evolving? The principle of evolution is one of our most sacred trusts. By it we justify our existence as Cannibals and we inoculate ourselves against moral criticism. By it we subjugate the unwashed masses through doctrinal subversion. We … Continue reading

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Hope and Change

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Location, Location, Location

“Buildings are far and away the worst thing humans do to the environment,” said Rob Watson, NRDC senior scientist and a chair of the LEED program. “All of the buildings in the U.S….[are] the leading human-induced cause of global warming.” … Continue reading

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