Statistically Speaking

Attractive computer models
Attractive computer models provide Climate Scientists the balls and the bones for demanding 100% control of the production and consumption of goods for a mere 99% of the global population.

Warning: Scientific Language

The Science was settled long ago – when you burn wood or pellets or coal or oil to heat your home, your home heats up. If you don’t keep burning something, the temperature in your house goes down. Despite the best efforts by the free-enterprise system and Corning, some of the heat escapes from your house and warms the atmosphere and the rest of the planet. That does not bode well for the Survival of the Species. – HH

42% of Americans think that 97% of the Climate Scientists who responded to a survey which polled 0.1% of all Climate Scientists currently on the Surface of the Planet (who themselves comprise 0.01% of all live Scientists worldwide) are correct in thinking that 100% of the Human Beings will Warm the Entire Surface of the Planet by an Average of 0.5% of the Average Temperature of the Entire Surface of the Planet over the last 15% of the previous 1000 years.

Such a Warming is sure to result in a Selfish, Universal, Imperialistic, Climate Induced Disaster of Epic proportions  (SUICIDE).

The rest (58%) are termed Climate Deniers by survivors of the last SUICIDE, and by the Press.

The many Climate Scientists who think as they do are 50-80% confident that their Statistical Computer Balls are 100% accurate and bug-free in predicting the Average Temperature of the Surface of the Planet over the first 10% of the next 1000 years. They are likewise 90-100% confident that the species doom is imminent as a result of SUICIDE.


Many computer programs suffer from architectural problems as well as bugs – an error in the computer’s thinking.

The Statistical Computer Balls are built using Data acquired from Scientific Equipment which has covered between 0.0001% and 0.01% of the Entire Surface of the Planet over the period which is the first 80% of last 15% of the last 1000 years. Data for the last 20% of the last 15% of the last 1000 years was acquired from Extra-Terrestrial Scientific Equipment that Averages Data over an Area that is 0.0001% of the Whole Surface, and then Averages each of those Averages to a Single Average Global Temperature, allowing them to be accurate to within 0.1% of 1 degree Celsius 70% of the time. The Entire Historical Record is well known to within 1% of 1 degree Celsius with an Statistical Error Range of only 450% of 1 degree Celsius.

When Scientific Instruments fail to Measure Temperatures that coincide with Statistical Computer Model Predictions of Warming, the Oceans are indicted as a Co-Conspirators for Theft and Concealment of Increased Temperatures. The Instrumental Record is Statistically Altered in Real-Time to account for the Judgement of the Supreme Court of the Earthly Climate and Ocean Governance.


NOAA is just one of the many climate law enforcement agencies recognized by the United Nations. The cost of climate law enforcement is borne exclusively by violators in the form of fees, taxes, and confiscation under eminent domain.

The 1000 year time period is chosen because it represents 15% of the time the modern Human Being has inhabited a Minimum 0.01% of the Surface of the Planet, and because it coincides with the Inexplicable Average Warming or Cooling of the Entire Surface of the Planet 1000 years ago as measured in Tree Ring Widths, Antarctic Ice Cores, the Beak Size of Finches, and Butterfly Wing Color Variations.

It is therefore obvious that committing 150% of the Gross Domestic Product of 100% of the Current Human Population for 25% of the next 100 years is appropriate in order to Save Mankind from the SUICIDE that is 110% likely to occur, all other things being equal.

To Rescue Mankind from SUICIDE, an Average Consumption Rate (ACR) for Human Beings is calculated by consensus of the heads of the Primary Executive Agencies after buy-in from stakeholders. When the value is finally determined, actual consumption will be fairly and evenly distributed to each of the Workers of the World. The ACR will be enforced by Tax Policy. Estimates provide policy makers guidance until then.

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About Head Hunter

CANNIBALISMTODAY :: THE Magazine for the Modern Totalitarian
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