Category Archives: Doctrine

Editorial: I’m Utterly Astonished

Six Bananas, a first here at Cannibalism Today. I can not be any more amused. I’m shocked by the amount of amusement. I would have to now say that every one of our astonishing principles of Totalitarianism has been fully … Continue reading

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Editorial: Our Sacred Trust

Is Evolution Evolving? The principle of evolution is one of our most sacred trusts. By it we justify our existence as Cannibals and we inoculate ourselves against moral criticism. By it we subjugate the unwashed masses through doctrinal subversion. We … Continue reading

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The Best Health Insurance Starts with Diet

Inspected and graded by the United States Department of Agriculture. Expiration dates and grades appear on all cuts of meat approved by the USDA. Accept no substitute.

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Darwin: Cannibalism is Natural and Good for You

Cannibalism is perfectly natural, according to a 2003 study by the National Geographic magazine, a sister publication. Scientists suggest that even today many of us carry a gene that evolved as protection against brain diseases that can be spread by … Continue reading

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Benevolent Warning from Andy Rooney

Food for thought: “The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can’t eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as … Continue reading

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What To Do about Herman Cain

Obviously, the man and his followers are a threat to our way of life. Please feel free to post comments about how to eradicate him and his ilk.

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