Home Sweet Affordable Home

For any of your livestock that is without shelter, we have built some nice little red homes. Each of the homes is LEED certified, in deference to your environmental sensibility. Homes are not just sweet anymore! They’re affordable!


The Making Home Affordable Program is a critical part of the Obama Administration’s broad strategy to sweeten home ownership, to sweeten the country’s housing market, to sweeten the nation’s economy, to sweeten his re-election chances, and to help homeowners avoid bitter foreclosure.

A HUD spokesman opined “We are not child-molesters either. We believe that everyone has an equal right to home ownership. We believe that children are our future. Come see for yourself. Find. Apply. Succeed.sm All we are saying is … “Give peace a chancesm.””

The program would not be as successful as it is without the assistance of the Treasury Department. “When someone moves out or moves on, we move someone else in to these affordable homes,” a Treasury official said. “That way, the sensitive American taxpayer is burdened as little as possible with such annoying things as cost … And Congress appropriates the rest out of future earnings of the homeowner’s offspring, so the homeowner is not burdened either,” he explained. When asked, the official said: “No, I don’t believe we, as a whole, are child-molesters either. I’m a public servant. We don’t compromise the needs of future generations while meeting our own needs, like others do.”


A benevolent and peaceful HUD worker assists two grateful homeowners in making repairs to the roof of their sweet, affordable, and sustainable home.

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About Head Hunter

CANNIBALISMTODAY :: THE Magazine for the Modern Totalitarian
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