Public Service Advisory

THE THING FROM THE STORM DRAIN HAS ESCAPED.

LEVEL 5 HAZARD. FOLKS, WE ARE COMPLETELY PERPLEXED. REPEAT. FOLKS, WE ARE COMPLETELY PERPLEXED. PLEASE WARN YOUR NEIGHBORS. SEEK SHELTER UNDERGROUND. PROTECT YOUR LIVESTOCK. THIS ONCE IN A LIFETIME EVENT HAS THE CAPACITY TO SWEEP BUILDINGS FROM THEIR FOUNDATIONS.

CATEGORY F5: Incredible damage.
Strong frame houses lifted off foundations and carried considerable distances to disintegrate; automobile sized missiles fly through the air in excess of 100 m (109 yd); trees debarked; steel reinforced concrete structures badly damaged.

DISCUSSION: THIS EVENT IS FOLLOW UP OF LAST WEEK’S PUBLIC SERVICE ADVISORY.

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CANNIBALISMTODAY :: THE Magazine for the Modern Totalitarian
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