Two fat cannibals visited my home today.
They arrived in a mini van. I saw them park in front of my house, open their doors, fumble for a 100 ft tape measure and a clipboard. They got out and headed up my driveway.
I stopped the cannibals at the sidewalk leading to my front door. I asked if I could help them.
They wore badges that claimed they were members of the cannibals. The badges said “County Assessor”. One of the cannibals responded that they were from the County Assessor’s office, and that he had heard my roof had suffered some damage, and that it looked like my roof was new.
I told him that my roof was not new. I told him that the roof was, in fact, the same roof that the house originally came with. He said “really”.
He told me he’d be back in six months to look again.
It seems the cannibals don’t want me to have a new roof unless I pay a perpetual annual tax so that they can send their children to public school. They will forcibly remove me and my home schooled children from underneath the roof if I fail to pay the tax.